i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
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She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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