Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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