I bet he comes in French.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
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I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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