She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize