I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
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I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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