You really coming over, don't trick.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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