the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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