I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
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