"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize