Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
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The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
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If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
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