alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize