is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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