I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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