so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize