hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
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So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
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I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Your penis caused this!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
The ass gains better be worth it
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