We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
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He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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