why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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