Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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