I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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