Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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