I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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