I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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