He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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