; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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