Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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