Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize