Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
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Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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