Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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