You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize