So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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