I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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