Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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