I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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