is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize