Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
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I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
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I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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