Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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