your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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