just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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