i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
we're so committed to being not committed
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize