I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize