they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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