the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
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BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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