I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
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Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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