That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
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bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
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who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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