There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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