i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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