i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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