my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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