this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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