its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
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Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
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Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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